One crippling way to look at the world revolves around blaming someone else for our decisions.
The harmful part comes down to believing the issue is always someone else. Whatever behavior one demonstrates, they never take ownership of anything. The result of this thinking causes one never to change bad habits.
Individuals do not need to make better choices if the problem always lies outside themselves.
With a thought process like that, one can go years or a lifetime locked inside their head. No matter how often they find themselves in off-putting situations, there conveniently becomes the same song for why they fail: anybody but the person in the mirror.
How we avoid this for ourselves involves understanding that our decisions register results.
What we repeatedly do determines our outcomes in life. The choices one makes every day determines whether we progress, stay stagnant or go backward. Nothing else has more influence on what happens to us than that fact.
I’m not saying we are responsible for every terrible thing that happens in life. None of us controls earthquakes or other natural disasters.
However, even in the worse situations, how we respond does impact our existence significantly. Do we seek healthy ways to cope with pain or turn to drugs? Once one becomes aware to the inevitable grieving of a loss, do we seek professional help if our suffering leads to severe anxiety or depression?
I don’t write what I’m saying lightly or belittle people who have struggled with a tragedy.
My point comes down to the results and human being’s ability to make bad situations worse. To walk through life believing nothing complicated should happen is a faulty presupposition. Everyone will face something.
What we decide to do with our afflictions can make us bounce back or spiral out of control.
We all probably have done it, behaved a certain way for a while, and then experienced an epiphany that things do not need to continue happening in this manner. At that moment, we course correct and adjust our behavior.
Those moments remind us how easily our lives can go off track and our ability to make healthier choices.
Those reflections I make about myself remind me of how quickly I can make a mistake and the hopefulness to understand that I can also learn from the mishap—comprehending that I can navigate the gray areas of life and overcome most of what I encounter.
Although rough waters can seem like a tsunami if we do not realize our steering needs modification from time to time.
The steering resides with us and no one else. Our boundaries, the friends we decide to spend time with, and the places we go are all things we determine for ourselves in adulthood. Those factors tell the truth about who we are in the real world.
It is imperative to understand the consequences of our choices.
Taking ownership of how we respond to life gives us the control to a certain degree. Better to take responsibility for situations within our grasp than leave everything to chance. Forsaking all things to luck or someone else means you will roll snake eyes more than your fair share.
Vertis Williams is a Positive Habits Life Coach and a Mindfulness Trainer. He is a regular presenter at employee and team-development events. Contact him to request more info on his Workshops or on his Coaching Services! Click HERE to Request a Complimentary Habit Coaching Session!